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搞乐gif:逗比你是特意来搞乐的么
发布时间:2024-04-22 21:14
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小编

  公车司机的日志:此日,我照常上班。上来一个老头儿◆▼●。我播放车载播送:“请为老弱病残孕让座。”没过一刹,很多年青人对老迈爷拉拉扯扯,对峙要给他让座。我就不疾儿了:这大爷长得也不像李嘉诚啊?我开了十几年车▼●◆,如此华丽的让座阵容我还从没见过……

  算命的结果靠不靠谱,二十八九时期说我,三十二三◆◆●,能不期而遇对的人,三十二三时期,说我三十四五就会不期而遇真命皇帝▼,现正在三十四五了,人呢?搁哪呢◆◆◆?

  下雪天,途面滑◆●,司机们要留意安定。记得要换防滑胎,否则即是这种情况,玩碰碰车呢●●◆。

  男生睡房,一哥们三鼓梦游把全睡房的人都吵醒了,起来开灯一看,那梦游的哥们披着被子,正在睡房不断的来回走着。专家面面相觑,不敢直接唤醒◆◆●,于是◆,另一哥们就偷偷走到他背后◆,扯下了被子,心思他一感应冷就本身回去睡了。然后,梦游的哥们朴素丽的回身,大吼一声:“师兄●▼◆,为何夺我僧衣!”

  昨天正在表甥那里用膳,饭后送我回公司,计划师幼美又是让坐又是倒水的。表甥一走就问我表甥成亲没有●▼,有女朋侪没有▼●?当我告诉她表甥还没成亲◆▼●,她直接跟我叫娘舅了●●▼。我看着她那一百六十多斤的肉体,还没有言语,她直接跟我说:出同样的钱买大的不损失,再不可他要准许买一送一也行。我……

  我姐买了一壁镜子◆,镜子很美丽,倏地002cc全讯开户送白菜,她把镜子向我一照,大吼一声:“妖孽,我叫你一声你敢愿意吗!” 我淡定的回她一句:“喵~” 我姐:“斗胆猫妖!” 我:“倘使我方才说的是人话●●,那我是不是就成人妖了◆●▼?”

// 2){ var textDat = textDiv.innerHTML; var br = textDat.toLowerCase().indexOf("=0 && divTop var sWeek = new Array("星期日", "星期一", "星期二", "星期三", "星期四", "星期五", "星期六"); var dNow = new Date(); var CalendarData = new Array(100); var madd = new Array(12); var tgString = "甲乙丙丁戊己庚辛壬癸"; var dzString = "子丑寅卯辰巳午未申酉戌亥"; var numString = "一二三四五六七八九十"; var monString = "正二三四五六七八九十冬腊"; var sx = "鼠牛虎兔龙蛇马羊猴鸡狗猪"; var cYear, cMonth, cDay, TheDate; CalendarData = new Array(0xA4B, 0x5164B, 0x6A5, 0x6D4, 0x415B5, 0x2B6, 0x957, 0x2092F, 0x497, 0x60C96, 0xD4A, 0xEA5, 0x50DA9, 0x5AD, 0x2B6, 0x3126E, 0x92E, 0x7192D, 0xC95, 0xD4A, 0x61B4A, 0xB55, 0x56A, 0x4155B, 0x25D, 0x92D, 0x2192B, 0xA95, 0x71695, 0x6CA, 0xB55, 0x50AB5, 0x4DA, 0xA5B, 0x30A57, 0x52B, 0x8152A, 0xE95, 0x6AA, 0x615AA, 0xAB5, 0x4B6, 0x414AE, 0xA57, 0x526, 0x31D26, 0xD95, 0x70B55, 0x56A, 0x96D, 0x5095D, 0x4AD, 0xA4D, 0x41A4D, 0xD25, 0x81AA5, 0xB54, 0xB6A, 0x612DA, 0x95B, 0x49B, 0x41497, 0xA4B, 0xA164B, 0x6A5, 0x6D4, 0x615B4, 0xAB6, 0x957, 0x5092F, 0x497, 0x64B, 0x30D4A, 0xEA5, 0x80D65, 0x5AC, 0xAB6, 0x5126D, 0x92E, 0xC96, 0x41A95, 0xD4A, 0xDA5, 0x20B55, 0x56A, 0x7155B, 0x25D, 0x92D, 0x5192B, 0xA95, 0xB4A, 0x416AA, 0xAD5, 0x90AB5, 0x4BA, 0xA5B, 0x60A57, 0x52B, 0xA93, 0x40E95); madd[0] = 0; madd[1] = 31; madd[2] = 59; madd[3] = 90; madd[4] = 120; madd[5] = 151; madd[6] = 181; madd[7] = 212; madd[8] = 243; madd[9] = 273; madd[10] = 304; madd[11] = 334; function GetBit(m, n) { return(m >> n) & 1; } function e2c() { TheDate = (arguments.length != 3) ? new Date() : new Date(arguments[0], arguments[1], arguments[2]); var total, m, n, k; var isEnd = false; var tmp = TheDate.getFullYear(); total = (tmp - 1921) * 365 + Math.floor((tmp - 1921) / 4) + madd[TheDate.getMonth()] + TheDate.getDate() - 38; if(TheDate.getYear() % 4 == 0 && TheDate.getMonth() > 1) { total++; } for(m = 0;; m++) { k = (CalendarData[m] < 0xfff) ? 11 : 12; for(n = k; n >= 0; n--) { if(total <= 29 + GetBit(CalendarData[m], n)) { isEnd = true; break; } total = total - 29 - GetBit(CalendarData[m], n); } if(isEnd) break; } cYear = 1921 + m; cMonth = k - n + 1; cDay = total; if(k == 12) { if(cMonth == Math.floor(CalendarData[m] / 0x10000) + 1) { cMonth = 1 - cMonth; } if(cMonth > Math.floor(CalendarData[m] / 0x10000) + 1) { cMonth--; } } } /*戊戌狗年 腊月廿*/ function GetcDateString() { var tmp = ""; tmp += tgString.charAt((cYear - 4) % 10); tmp += dzString.charAt((cYear - 4) % 12); tmp += sx.charAt((cYear - 4) % 12); tmp += "年 "; if(cMonth < 1) { tmp += "(闰)"; tmp += monString.charAt(-cMonth - 1); } else { tmp += monString.charAt(cMonth - 1); } tmp += "月"; tmp += (cDay < 11) ? "初" : ((cDay < 20) ? "十" : ((cDay < 30) ? "廿" : "三十")); if(cDay % 10 != 0 || cDay == 10) { tmp += numString.charAt((cDay - 1) % 10); } return tmp; } function GetLunarDay(solarYear, solarMonth, solarDay) { if(solarYear < 1921 || solarYear > 2020) { return ""; } else { solarMonth = (parseInt(solarMonth) > 0) ? (solarMonth - 1) : 11; e2c(solarYear, solarMonth, solarDay); return GetcDateString(); } } function getFullYear(d) { // 修正firefox下year错误 yr = d.getYear(); if(yr < 1000) yr += 1900; return yr; } /*写入页面*/ function showDate() { var D = new Date(); var yy = D.getFullYear(); var mm = D.getMonth() + 1; var dd = D.getDate(); var ww = D.getDay(); var ss = parseInt(D.getTime() / 1000); var h = D.getHours(); var m = D.getMinutes(); var s = D.getSeconds(); var sValue = getFullYear(dNow) + "年" + (dNow.getMonth() + 1) + "月" + dNow.getDate() + "日" + " " + sWeek[dNow.getDay()] + " "; sValue += GetLunarDay(yy, mm, dd); sValue += shapetime(h,m,s); document.getElementById("pDate").innerHTML = sValue; setTimeout("showDate()", 500); }; /*格式化时间*/ function shapetime(h, m, s) { if(s <= 9) s = "0" + s; if(m <= 9) m = "0" + m; if(h <= 9) h = "0" + h; return h + ":" + m + ":" + s } window.onload = showDate;